THE LAZY GONDOLIER by William C. Blome
THE LAZY GONDOLIER Rumor has it you’ve cast your lot With one lazy gondolier, a melodious jerk Who barcarolles with the very best of them, But isn’t worth a crap when it comes To finding treasure in the Lido’s squooshy turf At daytime’s lowest tide. Oh he can expertly Steady his boat into wasp-waisted slips And rough-sea piers, but give your guy a shovel— Even show him exactly where to dig or scoop— And damned if he’ll ever turn over one ducat Or even a corroded and encrusted bracelet. Moreover, everybody sees he never breaks a sweat, Never pants like a strung-out greyhound From genuine exertion, which is why I rush To call him lazy. But now confide in me, pretty- Pretty please: is he the selfsame way when he’s Practically all by himself? (You know, when He’s with no one except the likes of you?)