THE LAZY GONDOLIER by William C. Blome

THE LAZY GONDOLIER

Rumor has it you’ve cast your lot

With one lazy gondolier, a melodious jerk

Who barcarolles with the very best of them,

But isn’t worth a crap when it comes

To finding treasure in the Lido’s squooshy turf

At daytime’s lowest tide. Oh he can expertly

Steady his boat into wasp-waisted slips

And rough-sea piers, but give your guy a shovel—

Even show him exactly where to dig or scoop—

And damned if he’ll ever turn over one ducat

Or even a corroded and encrusted bracelet.

Moreover, everybody sees he never breaks a sweat,

Never pants like a strung-out greyhound

From genuine exertion, which is why I rush

To call him lazy. But now confide in me, pretty-

Pretty please: is he the selfsame way when he’s

Practically all by himself? (You know, when

He’s with no one except the likes of you?)